Why can’t you just do this? You know that you should, that you’re supposed to, that you want to. This will fix everything. This could change your entire life.
Then that little voice at the back of your head speaks up. It’s tiny, barely even there at all. In fact, you might have not even noticed it if you weren’t listening.
What if it doesn’t? What if this changes nothing?
What if you will never achieve what you want? What if you will forever be unremembered? What if you won’t leave a mark?
Just as quickly as it appears, it stops. But the echoes stay with you. What… if… What if?
You know that you shouldn’t second guess yourself. You’re your own worst enemy. No matter how hard you try to shut your thoughts up, they’re never too far from your mind.
Maybe, maybe it’ll work, you say. Maybe you won’t fail. Maybe this’ll actually be amazing. Slowly, slowly, you get your nerve back. You. Can. Do. This.
Deep breaths. Don’t panic, don’t second guess yourself. Just remember: have courage. Be strong.
All at once, it evaporates. Suddenly, it’s gone. The fear and panic is back, because maybe it won’t work. Maybe you can’t do this. Maybe you aren’t good enough.
Will you take the leap? Will you? Or not?
The two voices are arguing – you’re at war with yourself. You don’t know, you don’t know, you don’t know.You just… you just want to give up, but you know that you can’t.
You’ve got to make a choice. But is it the right one? Will you do the right thing?
And you must be absolutely crazy – arguing with yourself.
But you just can’t get the voice to be quiet. What if…
Even if it doesn’t change your life, and if you don’t succeed in it, you’ll be in a better position than the one you’ve been before you did what you wanted and needed to do. Experience makes us better, that’s a fact.
That’s probably true. Although it’s still pretty difficult to convince oneself to do something you might not succeed in at all.