As a child, I was taught to speak in English first, and Filipino second.
I was taught that English is the language of the rich, of the successful, of the learned. I was taught to be ashamed of my own culture, my own mother tongue. I was taught that Filipino was for the masses – for conversing with yayas or drivers or people at the market. I was taught that if I wanted to be a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer, a scientist, a CEO, or a politician, I would need to be fluent in English.
I spoke English at home. After all, I have two parents who spoke mostly in English as well.
In elementary, I attended a small private school. The halls were lined with signs reminding us to “speak in English” at all times. There, I developed an quasi-American accent, and a matching disdain for my own culture. “A is for apple.” Ah-pul.
English is the language of learning. Math, science, religion – everything was in English. All my textbooks were in English, all my lessons, all my exams.
I learned about photosynthesis and the hydrological cycle. I learned about prepositions and articles and conjunctions. I learned about trigonometry and algebraic functions and number theory. I learned of Galileo, da Vinci, Henry VIII.
Everything was in English.
Well, everything, except Filipino. But I never truly counted Filipino, because I hated Filipino in the way that most students hate math or science.
But it’s not just language. Culture, too.
All the books I read were in English. William Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, George Orwell, JK Rowling – I read them all. But Ibong Adarna or Florante at Laura? I had no intention of ever even cracking open their pages. I could use je ne sais quoi in a sentence, but I could still barely even understand my own language.
All the music I listened to was in English. My iPod contained everything from the Beatles to Taylor Swift to Broadway, but had nary an OPM track in sight.
All the television I watched was in English. Filipino telenovelas disgusted me; I found them boring, unappealing, and contrived. The same old, same old plot over and over again, with slightly different looking actors each time.
All the essays or poems I’d write were in English. I could write entire novelas in English, but not even a one-page essay in Filipino.
I thought, spoke, wrote, read, watched, imagined, dreamed in English.
I am more foreigner than I was Filipino. I am foreign in my own country.
English is the language of success, of progress.
Filipino is the language of my country. It’s the language of history, of Rizal and Bonifacio.
Filipino is the language of necessity. But English is the language of creation.
Filipino is the language of the past. But English is the language of the future.
Filipino is the language of culture. But English is the language of globalization.
Perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps we need Filipino. But in this country, English is the language of privilege.
Wow, this is excellent. Reblogging you, Gabbie.
Thank you!
Reblogged this on Susan Daniels Poetry and commented:
Wow, this is strong.
Hi, Gabbie, I can relate with your beautiful piece, as my country of origin Suriname used to be a Dutch colony, and the Dutch language is still the official language 37 years after independence. Sranan Tongo however is the tongue of the people and a lot closer to our heart. Check this poem in Sranan and Dutch, with English translation http://gladiuspoeticus.wordpress.com/2010/08/22/sranan-tongo/
Thank you for your comment. I really enjoyed the poem too.
This is deeply moving .. This dissociation and sort of being expat in your own home and foriegn to your skin is a thirld world dilemma… I read and write poems in English .. My daughters just like yourself speak english with a perfect american accent and they have never sit foot in the US (yet) .. For now english is the langauge of the intersting, useful , cool and media.. So this is justified in a way .. But still being literate about your culture makes you more conforming with your roots, history and your loved one.. So happy to come your way Gabbie .. Will be looking around 😊
It’s a pretty uniquely third-world dilemma, I agree.
Though English is a beautiful language, the fact still stands that there are thousands more being forgotten out there, and that’s simply terrifying.
Knowing where you come from helps you know where you’re going.
That’s a piercing commentary. I can empathize – I grew up, as a little boy, in Brazil and was sent to the English speaking school – because English was seen as the language of the future. Which is odd, seeing my parents spoke German!
Thank you.
I’m not sure whether or not it’s a sad fact that so many people can relate – it’s such a telling fact about our society as a whole.
Very interesting reflection! You are right that it is important to speak English in the USA. Not speaking English here makes life a lot harder. However, I hope you will also preserve your Filipino language and culture, and pass it onto your kids. I think one of the bad things about the USA is that we do not really have a particular culture, with traditions. All of our traditions have become very commercialized and Disney-ified.
My grandmother is Italian, and her parents immigrated here from Italy. Although my grandmother was born here, she was unable to speak English as a child. She could only speak Italian because that was what her parents taught her. She went to school and was made fun of by other kids, and put down by teachers, for speaking Italian. Back then people were as “racist” against Italians as they were against Hispanics and African Americans. So as she got older my grandmother learned English and became as American as she could. When she grew up and had children, she only spoke English to them and never spoke Italian. None of her children or grandchildren ever learned Italian or learned much about the Italian culture. It was all English, American, all the time. And we’ve all… all of her children and grandchildren… regretted that we didn’t have that opportunity to speak Italian and know our own culture.
So I hope you will always honor your background and pass it onto your kids. Remember, being made up of a variety of cultures and languages was what the USA was originally meant for!
That’s a great point.
Adapting to the norms of society is an imperative to survive, but then again, keeping our own cultures alive and well is just as important.
[...] On the Filipino culture (and my supposed lack thereof):. [...]
I agree. Great post.
Thanks for your comment.
Reblogged this on black8whiteworld.
Reblogged this on This is Literary Prosetitution My Friend and commented:
I have to agree with you there, thought the language that we celebrate is Filipino, we cannot close our minds to globalization and industrialization.
I believe, that Nationalism isn’t in the way we speak, but it is in the way we act. What good would it be if we praise our mother land when only you and I can understand each other?
All I have to say is Hear! Hear!
Reblogged this on The Randomness in Me and commented:
In Gabbie Leung’s “On the Filipino Culture” she talks about English and Filipino languages, and the dislikes between the two. Basically, according to her, to speak English fluently is a key to being successful in the future.
Gabbie and I (from what I’ve observed with her essay) are totally exact opposites aside from the fact that we’re both Filipinos. She’s a Filipino who’s foreign to her country, and I’m one who’s proud of being one.
My parents are both Visayans and they do not speak English fluently. I wasn’t taught to speak English at home. In fact, I speak other native Filipino languages like Cebuano, Hiligaynon (the ones from my parents’ hometowns) and Ilokano. But English, I only learn it and use it in school. I don’t speak English if I don’t have to. And if I do, I stammer and mispronounce words a lot.
My vocabulary of Filipino words is as deep as the Mariana Trench but my English vocabulary is still grade school level. I can speak publicly and fluently with my native tongue. But in English, not a word comes from my mouth instead, sweat of nervousness from the back of my neck. I write stories, essays and poems in Filipino with almost un-understandable words but write English literature with shallow words.
During elementary, I entered a public school. We weren’t really forced to enhance our English speaking skills. Our teachers talk to us in Tagalog and seldom in English. They even hardly pronounce “ready”. “Rey-di, git sit, gu!”
Unlike Gabbie, I enjoy Filipino telenovelas. I cry over dramas on local TV channels. I make kilig over teen “love-teams”. Our TV at home is not connected to a multi-channel signal and so I watch cartoons not on Disney Channel, but on TV5 translated into Tagalog. Others say it’s stupid but my siblings and I have no choice but to enjoy it. I idolize local celebrities. Hollywood celebrities – I only read about them when I borrow magazines from my friends. I don’t even dare to update myself about Lady Gaga’s concert in Manila or Rihanna’s new pair of shoes.
At school, during our English periods, I recite in Tagalog, not in English. I fear that they would laugh at my mispronunciations.
I do agree that to speak English is a necessity especially that we are in the age of modern globalization. But to love your mother tongue is still a need. We will move forward with English language but Filipino language doesn’t really pull us backwards.
For example, Japan. They were able to cope up with the Western countries’ economy but were still able to preserve their culture. A large percentage of Japanese people hardly speak the so-called global language and yet they are at the top in terms of GDP per capita.
Well, I’m not against Gabbie’s opinion. I believe she’s right. Perhaps, to speak in English is a must especially nowadays because of modern globalization. But to love one’s own culture is also a must.
[...] http://andsmilestogobeforeiweep.wordpress.com/2012/09/26/on-the-filipino-culture-and-my-supposed-lac… [...]