Today, I am feeling fragile.
I feel as thin as paper and as easily shattered as glass. It is as though the slightest breeze might scoop me up and sweep me away with naught but a moment’s notice.
There are some days when I feel like a lion. The world is at my beck and call, the universe shall cease if I will it to – anything and everything is possible. Some days, I feel strong.
But not today.
Today, I feel breakable. And perhaps just the slightest bit broken, like a cup with the tiniest crack in it.
The winds howl at my doorway and I tremble at its might. The rain beats like an ever-steady drum, as though it was mocking me. The fires seem to burn more furiously, more angrily. Even the darkness seems far too sinister.
I feel so breakable.
I realize that, at any single moment, there could be hundreds of catastrophes that could happen to me. A plane could fall right out of the sky. There could be an earthquake right now. A fire might start. I might spontaneously combust. Cancer may find me, and decide I would make a suitable home.
But by far the worst thing that could have happened already has. The thing that broke me the most was you.
The empty words sting like a thousand tiny daggers, tearing me into a thousand little pieces. I feel so fragile, so vulnerable. You are the only one who could ever break my heart, you are. And here I am, knowing fully well how fragile I am, offering this little heart of mine up to you. I do not know why, when I already know this story ends in heartbreak.
But there is a slight glimmer of hope. The promise of tomorrow hangs ever so slightly in the air, the faintest whisper of what is to come.
I think that hurts the most – everything hinges on such a tiny little thing. The moments that mean everything to me will end up forgotten by you, only remembered when it’s convenient to love me again.
I feel so fragile.